I used to be a major online dating sceptic. My friends recommended dating sites to me, and told me to get online if I wanted to stop meeting players and desperadoes. I didn’t listen to them for ages, and kept ignoring their advice even when it was clear that I was failing badly at meeting guys in real life.
Eventually, I tried my hand at online dating. I was still sceptical, and didn’t believe for one minute that I would meet a dream guy. I was doing it just to please my friends.
As the weeks passed, I quite literally got no where . I went on a handful of dates that were total disasters, and the guys I did happen to like didn’t respond to my messages. I was ready for giving up and telling my friends “I told you so.”
But then they reminded me that online dating itself wasn’t at fault – I
was at fault. I was doing it the wrong way. Nowadays, I’ve met my Prince Charming online. By listening to advice, I discovered the key to making online dating fun and productive.
So let’s take a look at some of the top 10 online dating tips that will help you to up your own game.
Know What You Want
You will fail badly at online dating if you don’t know what you want from a man or a relationship. I was guilty of exactly this when I started messaging men. I didn’t know whether I wanted a committed relationship or just a bit of fun. So what happened was when things got a bit too serious, I backed out. Likewise, when things were too casual, I also backed out!
Knowing precisely what you want from online dating will help you to have a better experience. Guys know when you’re hesitant and unsure of your desires, so to make sure that you don’t put them off with mixed signals, write down what you want to get out of this. Create a wish list and stick to it.
Avoid Cliches At All Cost
So, you’re looking for a man who will smear your lipstick, not your mascara?
Maybe you want a knight in shining armour, not an idiot in tinfoil?
Perhaps you’re sick of kissing frogs?
Cliches aren’t impressing anyone. All they do is suggest that you’re incapable of being original. If you use cliches, you look like you have nothing to say. It’s not cool.
Some of us are so nice and sweet that we even reply to the men we know aren’t right for us. We just can’t help it because otherwise we’d feel bad!
But when it comes to online dating, you have the right and the opportunity to be as selective as you want. And if you want to waste less time on Mr Wrong and more time with Mr Right, you have to be really picky.
Find The Best Site
There are a LOT of online dating sites out there, from the free ones to the subscription services. Some are really niche, while others are more general. And because you’re faced with such an abundance of choice, it’s really important that you don’t waste months on a site that isn’t even tailored to you.
There are a few dating site review sites that will help you to choose the right one. It’s a good idea to spend a bit of time comparing sites because this will save you time in the long run, and improve the chances of online dating being a success.
Forget About That Bad Date
Hey, bad dates happen. Everyone has them. But it’s really crucial that you don’t let a bad date play on your mind. Forget it about it, leave it in the past. If you don’t, you’ll struggle to live in the present moment where good things can happen.
When I was failing badly during those first few weeks, my friend took me aside and asked how I felt about online dating.
“I hate it,” I lamented. “It’s so awful and I’m never going to meet anyone!”
She told me that my negative attitude was stopping me from being successful. Basically, because I was picturing disaster, I was getting disaster.
To improve your chances, you have to be positive an use optimistic language. Be approachable, fun and happy! Guys enjoy it.
Keep Your Profile Short And Sweet
People online tend to make snap judgements, and it’s reckoned that Internet users have an attention span worse than that of a goldfish. This means that we take about 3 seconds to make our mind up about something before moving along.
If your profile is really long, it’s going to be off-putting. Rather than take the time to hear you out, most guys will baulk at all that text and head to the next profile.
You have to remember that people work quickly when it comes to searching profiles. Because there are SO MANY profiles available, nobody is going to waste more time than is necessary on a really looooooong profile.
Keep things short and sweet while making yourself sound interesting.
Tease Them With Information
The secret to great copywriting is that you offer teasers all the time that make people stay on the page. Readers just can’t prise themselves away from the website because copy writers have created a curiosity gap that leaves them wanting to know more. Master copy writers drop hint after hint after hint until finally getting to the big reveal.
If you’ve ever read any article on BuzzFeed you’ll know exactly what I mean.
You should employ the same tactic on your profile. Create a teaser, a bit of mystery that leaves a guy asking questions. Don’t offer absolutely everything about yourself up front, but drop a few hints.
If You’re Not Funny, Don’t Even Try It
Are you funny in print? Because I have news for you – most people aren’t. At all.
Bantering with your friends over a few cocktails about how Tina fell over on her hen night is one thing, but delivering a killer one-liner when all the pressure is on on your dating site profile is something else altogether.
The rule should be that if you know you aren’t funny in print, just leave out the attempts at humour. It will come across badly, and will probably ruin your chances.
Consider a Subscription-based Website
Lastly, if nothing is working, you might want to consider using a subscription-based website. Although this will cost you some money, it will instantly filter out anyone who is just using the sites for a giggle and some kicks. If you want something more serious, paying will boost your chances of success.